I'm rich but feel like a failure

I recently moved back to my hometown after years grinding it out in the city. Caught up with some old friends I hadn't seen in forever, and the first thing they wanted to know was where I got my house. I had to tell them I'm renting, just like always. At first, it felt weird, but then I realized I was kind of their hero, the "successful rich guy." Then, the conversation shifted. "What car do you drive?" I had to say I don’t own one. "Seriously, bro, at least you've traveled?" Nope, not yet. With those three questions and my answers, I pretty much shattered their entire perception of success. "Are you really wealthy, dude?" Absolutely. I think of myself as wealthy. What does wealth mean to me? It’s all about having choices. If I wanted to, I could buy a house, a car, or travel anywhere. I just choose not to because I don't think it's the best financial move right now. A while back, someone on here mentioned what could be a major issue with our economies. This definitely fits. People confuse assets with liabilities. They think they own their homes and cars, but they're drowning in debt. They chase after liabilities instead of building true wealth, which is all about accumulating assets that either appreciate in value or generate income. They undervalue their time and become slaves to their jobs just to keep up appearances and maintain the lifestyle they feel they need to project. I see this all the time. The four of us hanging out all come from the same school, same age, same chances. Three of us are heavy in debt, while I'm just trying to make smart moves.

If you have the funds for a car get it. The problem is peoples idea of a car. A car is necessary if can afford it as an adult. It can help you save time getting from one place to another and also make your life easier. What are you making money for if you can’t at least make your stress simple. You don’t need to own a luxury car just one that is neat and comfortable. If you don’t have the money to get a car or a house then I understand you but if you can comfortably get one but see it as a bad move you need to have a rethink.

You are being contradictory. You say you are rich because you have options, but you also criticize your friends for making what you think are bad financial decisions, which you say you have the option to make. You are not "the rich guy who made it" for renting a house and not having a car, you are simply a person who made some different decisions in your lifestyle. Just tell me one thing, whats the purpose of having money if you are not going to enjoy it?  I mean, I have my own house, I own my own car, and I love to travel whenever I have the time.  But no, I am not in debt, and I dont work for corporations anymore.  So you see, there really not so clear-cut and dry as you think.

Inwas expecting to read where you mentioned the assets you own, since you have not mentioned any value-added assets in your possession and if you have none, i think your friends who you said are in so called debts but with liabilities like owning a home and a car, with their family are well successful much more than you that traveled and spent alot of time in the city's. You also have to make a clear definitions pf what you take as wealth and success, since it sounds as if yij dont really understand the concept.

For starters you case is weird, although they are self made millionaires or even billionaires who live a frugal life. But at least they have the necessities, a car, obviously they needed one to travel around the country for business and money opportunities. And then a home, a roof under for them and the family, a place to secure themselves and obviously food in the table, 24x7 electricity, it's the basics. So you have money in your bank, but then again, every month you have to take something from it because you are a renter? And then what if you need to go out and buy food and groceries? You need uber? Doesn't make sense if you say that you have a lot of money and not buying a car or a house for you to make your life easy. For me that is a bad decision as you can afford it but you don't want to make your life convenient for you and your family (if you have one).

A car is clearly a necessity. Imagine having to take your pregnant wife to the hospital and having to wait for a taxi when there's no one available. If you have a car, you can always get where you want. If you've worked hard and saved up, a car is essential. It shouldn't be expensive or flashy, but it should get you where you want, whenever you want. A car is always essential.

Wealth isn’t always the definition of success, so I get why you say you’re not unsuccessful just because you haven’t reached your goal yet. For some people, even if they borrow money and drown in debt, as long as they have the house and car they wanted, they’ll already call themselves successful. That’s their choice and we can’t really do anything about it. But if someone has an entrepreneurial mindset, success is different. We invest in things that generate income. Debt isn’t really a problem as long as it’s considered “good debt,” meaning we use it for assets and not liabilities. Buying a car or house through a loan is fine if it works as an asset, but if it’s just a liability to flaunt, then that’s where the problem starts.

Life is just short, so if you think you are wealthy enough to buy a car or manage to tour around the world, then use your wealth to enjoy your life. Some day, you will end up with regrets knowing you’re capable but you never tried to, just because you value your money more than your life’s inner joy and happiness. However, I also understand that people have different views about life, and have different perspectives and opportunities in life, but one thing I can say, money is just a material thing, so just enjoy while it last, you don’t have to safekeep it forever.

There is a famous person in Turkey "Mevlana" and one of his saying is my favourite and I'm going to try to translate as much as I can. "People are welcomed by their clothes, hosted with their knowledge, and sent by their morals." Unfortunately nowadays we stuck on first part  We thinking if we are wearing expensive clothes and accessories, riding luxury cars and living in big house we are successful. But once coffin sent to grave everything will be stay behind. Being successful isn't earning a lot of money. Being succesful having enough money for you without spending a lot of time so you can live this once time life freely and happily

Different people have different idea of wealth, some people's idea of wealth stops at owning a house and a car, and while it is an indication of wealth, it is not all what wealth is. There is another of importance when it comes to acquisition and while owning a house and a car are important, they are liabilities as they do generate money on their own unless the property you hope to own at the early stage in life is for tenancy and the car is for commercial purpose like Uber. I have recently started thinking that before someone should own a car or own a house they should have an established system something like a business that generates income for them because being able to own a house and a car today gives no guarantee that you'll be able to hold it tomorrow.

Being rich by people without money is having cars, having traveled Not much you can do about that,

Money alone isn’t a guarantee to be successful. You need to take risk to achieve gains, and you need to build confidence and develop faith within you so can take things to its long term success. However, I don’t see these qualities with OP, that’s why it’s not surprising why despite of his wealth, he isn’t successful. Although getting wealth is a kind of success, but you know deep within yourself that you still have more potentials to show so never limit yourself. Use your wealth to achieve more success in life, invest and reinvest, and eventually you’ll see that it’s easy for you to spend your wealth on cars, house and even international trips.

Can I disagree with you? I agree when you say that wealth isn't about showing off, living for appearances to impress others, but sleeping with a guilty conscience every night, not knowing if you'll be able to pay all the bills... I know a lot of unhappy people who live that way. But, aside from disagreeing... I think "being rich" also means you need to live life while you can... I'm not saying you should go out and buy your dream car, a house full of luxuries, or buy expensive clothes and shoes to impress, but rather balance financial prudence with some experiences that can enrich "your soul" as well. For example... what's wrong with traveling? I don't see it as an "expense" or "liability," not everything is about money decreasing or increasing... you need to factor in what you gain in mental health as well. I think small pleasures and personal achievements are valid if you do them consciously. You should use money as a tool to live better; it can't just be a number that always needs to grow in your account. What's the point of having so much "freedom of choice" if you don't know how to choose to live? If you have difficulties, share some of your wealth with me, I will make good choices for you

That's how people view how wealthy and successful a person is, through material possessions. Owning a house, a car, and being able to travel the world. I understand your point OP, that wealth doesn't really come from material things. And if you happen to accept that you're wealthy, it's actually how you view the world. If you economically think that not owning a car is fine, then that's fine. You don't need any validation from these people who happen to pay mortgage and car payments, which makes them cringe when the due date is near. At the end of the day, it's how you live your life. If you happen to enjoy it with or without those things, as long as you're not drowning in debt, I guess that's one of the definitions of the real financial freedom and success.

This is clear @OP isn't yet wealthy, a real wealthy will see house or car is like a peanut. If you think wealthy is having a money that can afford to buy something expensive, you're wrong, that's actually the Average Joe. People aren't that poor, they have a house and a car, if they sold it, their money might be the same like what you have. The second scenario, if @OP is really wealthy, he create this thread to seek a validation because he's a humblebrag.

You can't say you're not successful when your situation is not just the norm of our society. Your friends view of being wealthy is through material things while you is freedom. Having freedom for is more better than owning luxurious things. You're not living in debt and can do whatever you want anytime. You're not living to please other people and just doing what you want. Being wealthy is not measured by the amount of money a person earns but how he appreciates it in the end.

I'm trying to reply to multiple comments here. I'm spending money just not on things that people consider measures of success. Owning a car here in Europe is not a necessity. Public transport is magnitudes faster and cheaper, especially in major cities. I still have a driving license, and rent a car for a couple of days if say I move stuff or we go to a vacation (but still prefer plane if possible). Average home prices here are 200 to 300 times the average monthly net salary. An average home loan is issued for 20 years with high upfront costs, 6% p.a. rates and 2% wealth tax on acquisition. I'm not saying you should never own a home, I'm saying if I bought one as soon as I could get my first loan, I was stuck in the hamster wheel for 20 years at least. This is a huge opportunity cost. Again, the moral of the story is, buy stuff when you can afford it. Otherwise, you just accumulate debt forever.

Well I think for a person to be wealthy then they must have alot of money. Or it can be assets, crypto, or some other items worth alot of money. But if a person does have debt well then they can not be wealthy. I do not think just if you have these options then you can say you are wealthy. You must have some things to show for this wealth.

The fact that you could buy house and car means you can fulfill their whole expectation of being successful on a whim. It's just that you didn't choose to so you're still successful in this case. I do understand the debt thing though, so many people trapped in mortgage for long extended period. Must've felt like hell. Personally I never interested in being burdened by such thing. I guess people just have different priorities and house isn't one of my priorities as well. I like to stack stock and crypto more for some reasons.

I understand your point, people feel that if they want to buy a car it must be expensive ones and I believe that these person's that  think this way are those that have competitive mindset in things that don't really matter much, I think i support what you said, what matters about buying a car is affordability and maintenance, once you know that you can afford to get a car for yourself and still maintain it without encountering any stress or having to rely on the money you use for the most needful to keep it up and running, then you are good to go on that but if you can't thats when car becomes a big liability although ordinarily we know that car is a liability but it becomes an obvious liability when you know you don't have what it takes to maintain it then you went ahead to empty your savings to buy it, I think that will be attributed to a financial mistake.